How emotional intelligence is demonstrated in simple ways, and what it can do for you
4 Apr, 2019
Jon Denny of BEC Search breaks down the concept of emotional intelligence and how it shows up in everyday life.
Within the world of executive search, we often talk about the intangibles: those characteristics that go above and beyond an impressive skillset, experience, and pedigree. Sometimes we use words like perceptiveness, authenticity, or self-awareness when describing someone who operates with both the head and heart, approaching situations with an uncanny level of intuition. I recently read an article in Inc. magazine, “13 Signs of High Emotional Intelligence,” and realized that what we were talking about, each in our own way, was emotional intelligence.
The writer, Justin Bariso, outlines 13 ways, in everyday life, that people demonstrate emotional intelligence. I took the liberty of narrowing the list down to four and re-ordering it in terms of relevance to both the job seeker and hiring manager.
- Keeping commitments. With the hectic pace of life, we sometimes fall short; overpromising and underdelivering, or simply not following through. When you make a habit of being dependable, people feel they can count on you. It’s the basis of trust, the underpinning of every successful relationship, whether personal or professional.
- Pausing. There is somewhat well-known equation which you may have heard in the past: E+R=O. That is, Event + Response = Outcome. What does that mean? Pause and think about the outcome you want, and which response will get you there. Press pause before speaking, acting, or making a commitment. Following this equation will help you to always put your best foot forward and demonstrate the highest levels of emotional intelligence.
- Demonstrating authenticity. We all have that one friend: the oversharer. Authenticity does not mean telling people your entire life story. According to Bariso, it is “saying what you mean, meaning what you say, and sticking to your values and principles above all else.”
- Giving helpful feedback. Feedback shouldn’t be hurtful. Aim to present criticism as constructive feedback, so the recipient sees it as helpful instead of harmful. Specific to the interviewing process, take the time to let candidates know why they didn’t get the job. Give them the chance to improve instead of making the same mistakes.
Based on my experience, an emotionally intelligent person is just as interested in success for others as for him or herself. This orientation towards the needs of others builds relationships that are mutually rewarding.
Organizational psychologist and executive coach Tasha Eurich sums it up well — “Leaders who focus on building both internal and external self-awareness, who seek honest feedback from loving critics, and who ask what instead of why can learn to see themselves more clearly — and reap the many rewards that increased self-knowledge delivers.”
